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British youngsters are already the most tested in the world, and get so many assessments, it’s likely your teen will know exactly how they are doing.The damage caused by our constant incitements to try harder and do better can do long-term damage to your relationship.
Such messages get turned inwards into negative self-talk.
These voices can be very hard to silence once they take hold in a teen’s malleable brain, just as it is laying down the pathways which will influence their future mental health.
Furthermore you are only teaching your child’s impressionable brain that shouting is the appropriate response, creating a negative feed-back loop which means you will only be end up on the receiving end of more hair-dryer treatment yourself.
Indeed thirteen-year-olds who received a lot of harsh verbal discipline from their parents were fond to be more likely to have symptoms of depression at age 14, according to recent findings published in the journal Child Development.
A major new study, just published by Berlin’s Max Planck Institute, is the latest to find that teenagers go through the same rewiring between the age of 13 and 17 as they did when they were toddlers.
Second time around however, when they match you for size and are using much more colourful language, it can be much harder to handle.If you feel a wall has built up between you, it’s time to break it down.Whether it’s walking the dog or having a drink together in a café, find regular slots for the two of you to be together, no strings attached and no pep talks.Instead one of the greatest gifts you can give your teen at this age is not only an understanding of what is happening inside their mind, but also the concept of 'a growth mindset.’ The approach, developed by Stanford psychology professor Carole Dweck, means simply explaining that no negative trait is ever fixed or stuck, and that we can all evolve and change.The latest scientific research into the adolescent brain proves this is absolutely the case..pass_color_to_child_links a.u-inline.u-margin-left--xs.u-margin-right--sm.u-padding-left--xs.u-padding-right--xs.u-relative.u-absolute.u-absolute--center.u-width--100.u-flex-inline.u-flex-align-self--center.u-flex-justify--between.u-serif-font-main--regular.js-wf-loaded .u-serif-font-main--regular.amp-page .u-serif-font-main--regular.u-border-radius--ellipse.u-hover-bg--black-transparent.web_page .u-hover-bg--black-transparent:hover. Content Header .feed_item_answer_user.js-wf-loaded . They were also more likely to show more signs of problem behaviour like aggression and anger.By the time children hit the teen years, most parents are so panicked by the need for stellar exam results, we are on their case almost all of the time.When you first ask, it’s likely your teen will look at you with the as much enthusiasm as if you’d asked them to mop the floor. Inside they will be flattered you want to spend time with them again for their own sake.If you keep setting aside time like this, your home will become a happier and less stressful place to be surprisingly quickly.