My First Love Essay

I remember feeling pangs of jealousy when I saw him in the hallways with new girlfriends or heard stories about him, missing all the fun we had together.

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I remember him taking a piece of the blue beanie he wore and tying it around my necklace.

And I remember how devastated I was when he broke up with me the night before I left to Puerto Rico with my family for spring break. As high school went on, I dated others, always with him in the back of my mind.

I called a grief counselor and joined a support group for people that lost a loved one to suicide.

I read up on Bipolar Disorder and tried to do things that eased my pain, such as writing him a letter every single day for a year.

I nervously went over to him, and the first thing he said as he proceeded to shake my hand was, “Wow, you grew up well.” The night went smoothly, like no time had passed at all, and, before we parted ways, he apologized for breaking up with me as kids.

From that night forward we began to talk daily for hours on end, driving to one another frequently. I was touched as he opened up to me about his battle with depression.

I remember getting in the car and crying hysterically on my way to meet him.

Something inside of me told me this would be magical yet wouldn’t last very long, and I suppose looking back, I was scared to lose him for a second time. He called when I was around the block to let me know he was at the restaurant waiting for me.

College began and I was in another relationship; I had moved on and life was just bumping along as it was supposed to.

Facebook came out, I made an account, and when I saw he had friend requested me (one of my first there too! A message here and there and I was back in touch with my first love, and I was so excited to have a glimpse in to his life again.


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